He was particularly sensitive to my moods. If I was feeling especially down, he'd make me a cup of tea and bring it to me with a cookie. Or he'd climb on my lap and cuddle, knowing little affections like that always lifted my spirits.The first steps in my coming out revolved around my inner struggle. I had to honestly admit it to myself, and then I had to come to grips with my own notions, prejudices, and expectations of what being a lesbian meant. That's not as simple and straightforward as it sounds; at least it wasn't for me.None of this was helped by the fact that, without knowing it at the time, I was suffering with a deep and dark depression. Many nights, I could hear the Banshees wailing. During the darkest times, the only thing that kept me from killing myself was my son. He didn't know then, nor does he know now (I think) that he kept me going. How could I deprive him of a mother, and in the most painful way imaginable? I couldn't, so just by being he kept me alive.An. Was your father looking to marry you off?”“I think he had an eye on someone, but he didn’t say. He told us once that we were only useful as bargaining chips to link up with other merchants, so I think I might be lucky to be untouchable now. Some of the merchants are smelly fuckers. Oops, pardon my language. But Garmet, the horse manure merchant? I mean, I know it’s a good, lucrative trade, but he stinks.”“Better than Mandriko though” Mandriko was a fish merchant who had carved out a niche in providing high quality fish bone manure. It was a trade that the other fish merchants were happy to leave to him. He was followed by cats wherever he went. “So being raped by a good-looking officer is better than being married to a fat, ugly merchant”“I’ll let you know when the good-looking officer arrives” She started laughing, as did he, then he tickled her, then he disappeared below and she found his tongue lapping at her clitoris. She had her first male-delivered orgasm and decided it wasn’t.
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